I suppose there are pills for that. A Xanax here and a Prozac there….But they don’t really turn anything off…just make one more mild tempered, less affected by one’s rampant emotions, especially for someone like me with bipolar disorder 2. I prefer to use my money for other things because as with all my health issues, time heals. I know that if I stick it out, I will soon be out of this low stage. But for the moment, all that is on my mind is suicide, loneliness and despair. I should be grateful that my wish for things to be better overrides my wish for the pain to end. Unfortunately, I am feeling like this low will never end even though my mind knows it always does. That is why I wish I could just turn off my heart. This is the lowest low I have had in years.

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