I have let my loneliness do some pretty stupid things in the past. I should be glad that I have limited availability to those resources at the moment. Seems to be a vicious circle. I am lonely because I have no real friends or lovers. I want to do act out but due to the fact that I have no real friends or lovers, I am able to resist my urge. If I wasn’t such a chicken shit, I might act out as others do and make opportunities for myself. Glad I got buzzed and tired in the privacy of my own home before I was tempted to go out and do something stupid.