Gave myself 24 hours to see if anyone visited the old blog.  Today was the day…not a single hit.  Not that the blog had a lot of traffic, but I didn’t want to just dump it and show those couple of readers that I had been “scared” off.  So, now that I see that there aren’t going to be readers, I feel confident that I can switch blogs to find a bit of anonymity to share, despite the fact that most of my recent posts were pretty inocuous anyway.  The misery of the last few days has been my own fault and I will accept my punishment in silence.  I have already been unfriended by one person and half unfriended by another.  Soon, I will remove their numbers from my phone.  I don’t expect to ever hear from either person ever again.  I am not happy about it, but I brought this upon myself.  I will not piss and moan about it being unfair.  I will not attempt to salvage anything out of our friendships out of respect for their choices.  Soon, I will remove the old posts from the old blog and either repost here in one really long blog or save somewhere since I do feel that I had some interesting thoughts to share at times.  At any rate, I am done fucking with other people’s lives.  I am just going to work, volunteer and dance and nothing else.  I am mentally and physically drained.  I am unmotivated and hating on myself…not that this is new, but these days, it is worse than ever.  But that is okay.  It is my own fault.  I cannot…or perhaps, will not, fix it.  So, time to move on.

Advertisements